Project Wonderland-- Hearts Suit/Jack

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"Alice!" a voice yelled through the kitchen, "Come on, Your breakfast is gonna get cold!"

"Coming Mother!" a lithe little girl answered from her room upstairs. With most teenagers in this situation, it is simply because they don't want to get up and begin their repetitive daily cycle, which bores most teens to tears. With Alice Hishiomi, that is not the case. The words "slack" and "off" were certainly not in the young blonde's vocabulary.

After another 10 minutes, Mrs. Mishiomi got impatient, "Alice!" she yelled, a sense of anger in her voice.

"What?!" she answered, sounding angry.

"Breakfast?!"

There was an akward pause... "I don't want any!"

Mrs. Mishiomi sat down in a huff, and Mr. Mishiomi braced himself for the fierce tounge-lashing that was soon to come.

Just like the silence that comes before the kill, there was another akward pause...

"Do you believe that girl?!" the adoptive mother of Alice killed the silent tension. There was a good, solid 8 minutes of Mrs. Mishiomi badmouthing her daughter. "And after all the trouble we went through to get that girl from that orphanage, she still has no respect!"

Mr. Mishiomi couldn't take it anymore. Like most married husbands of 30 years, he had grown tired of his talkative wife's bitching. He stood up and held up his hands in a comedic fashion, "I'll go talk to her, just please... whip HER with that sharp tounge, not me!"

As Mr. Mishiomi climbed up the stairs (which was a tad bit of a hanus task due to his slight pudge), his adoptive daughter came rushing down the stairs, fully dressed and with backpack in hand. "What took you so long?" he moaned. "I can't get this creative writing assignment!" she yelled back as she daintilly hopped down the stairs, "Don't wanna make You and Mrs. Mishiomi upset do I?" she said as she went out the back door, purposely avoiding Mrs. Mishiomi and her shrillishness

Mr. Mishiomi stood there for a second... baffled. Teenage girls... what're ya gonna do, right?


Alice unboarded the bus in a hurry, she only had 32 minutes and 56 seconds to work on her creative writing assignment! She sat down in White Academy's lawn made of Astroturf and began working. "Gotta hurry, gotta hurry, gotta huurryyyyy!" she whined, the pencil in her hand refused to move. She just had no ideas! She tapped the pencil nevously to the book she was bearing down on, biting her nails.

27 minutes and 23 seconds...

"Yo, Alice!" a groggy voice called out to her, it was Nicholas O'Shade, long time friend and bitter rival for the title of White Academy's prize student (at least to Alice, Nicholas could care less). "Oh Nick, I'm so happy I found you!" she got up and pulled the boy to her blank paper. "You read lots of books, right?" she retohrically asked, "Well, could you help me on my ELA assignment?" she smiled her best "good girl" smile.

The older boy's eyes stared blankly at Alice... "First off:" he began as he sat down, "I found you, second: yes, I do, and further more: Sure, why not? I know you suck at creative writing."

Alice smiled, "Good, the assignment's about.. oh, just write a story involving character development in a hostile character." Nicholas groaned, "Wait, how is this helping you... when I'm doing all the work?!"

Alice started to the doors of White Academy, "Easy Nick, you're helping me get a good grade, right?" she said haughtilly. Nicholas sighed, the pencil in his hands seemed to have mind of it's own as he began writing at a breakneck pace...

Alice smiled back at the boy and gave a thumbs up, he'd have it done in that 26 minutes and 11 seconds with time to spare!

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"Off with her head!!!" the usual barking of the Queen of Hearts was heard throughout Heart's Castle. Seconds later, a young baker was escorted out of the throne room by two 8 of heart cards with faces, arms, and legs. Another second later, a man with a crown in his long blonde curly hair, and puffy clothes that comically adorned him, followed hastilly. "Listen, listen, listen," he repeated very quickly, making sure the throne room door was closed. He dismissed the card gaurds, "Please, take no note of my wife," he apologized, "She's a bit overbearng, believe me when I say that I believe that you didn't steal her tarts, but believe me when I say that she won't believe me when I say that, and then I believe she'll have you beheaded again, and we'll have to do this all over again.

The young bakeress tried to comprehend what his majesty had just said...was she free? Or was he just stalling...

It must've sounded just as stupid to the King, because he put his finger up to pause. He moved his other index finger as if he was re-arranging something in thin air... "Okay, yeah, that's where I was going... yeah..." he put his fingers down, "You may go with your head." he smiled.

The woman broke down into tears of joy and hugged the great king. Soon, she was dismissed and all was well again...

The young king re-entered the enormous throne room, sighing at the fact that the young bakeress was the 4th one today that the Queen had accused of something completely and utterly ridiculous. "I heard crying... was she sad at the loss of her head?" the Queen powdered her elegant nose with one hand and held a mirror in the other. "Oh yeah" the King lied, "Utterly crushed... I think she's gonna miss her head..."

Despite being only the Queen of hearts, everyone in Wonderland knew that she thought she wore the big crown in Wonderland. In all actuality, her crown WAS bigger... and so was her throne... and so was her voice. The only thing bigger than the Qeen of Heart's voice however, was her ego. If she was so much as defeated ina game of croquet, the victor was to be immediately beheaded, and the King was forced to do what he had just done moments ago all over again...

The Queen's tiny stomach growled, "Hmm... but that still doesn't give me back my tarts..." she snapped her fingers, and immediately two 3 cards came sprinting down the hallway. They saluted her, as they had no mouths to speak on their heads. "Bring me the royal fetchrabbit, I have an errand for him."

After a small period of waiting, the cards came back, one holding an anthromorphic rabbit by the scruff. It should be noted that the rabbit was dressed in a red tuxedo, dangling a solid gold pocketwatch by the solid gold chain in his little hands. "Y-you rang, your highness?" he shivered.

The Queen shushed the rabbit, "You, other 3... what did you do?!" she scolded, knowing full well the card couldn't answer, "You let this 3 do your job of catching this rabbit, alone?!"

The card remained emotionless, knowing full well what was to come...

"OFF WITH IT'S HEAD!!!"

The card was escorted by the same two 8's, the king swiftly following. "Anyway, back to you hun." she smiled sweetly at the rabbit. Even though she was trying to be sweet, the Queen's warmest smile was like a cold stab to the heart. "Could you be a dear and get me some tarts, the most delectable would be fine." she leaned back in her throne and began to file her nails.

"Erm... your... your majesty... where should I find these most delectable tarts?" the rabbit quivered

She stopped abruptly, "You know, Monsure Rabbit, you can easilly be replaced." she said coldly. The rabbit immediately scurried out of the throne room...

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"Alice?" Ms. Danielle questioned the star student, "Do you have your paper?" Alice's ivory skin turned even paler.

"Uh... yes ma'am, of course I do" she lied, "But I bumped into my friend Nicholas, and we must've grabbed the wrong papers... would you mind if I went to go find him?"

Ms. Danielle narrowed her eyes suspiciously, "Yes, you can go... but only because this is the first time you've missed an assignment."

Alice clenched her fists, Nick was supposed to have it back to her by now! "Thank you ma'am." she said sincerely as she walked out the classroom door.

Alice knew full well Nicholas wasn't in class, he was out on top of the school again, reading his books. She could just imagine what would happen if a small breeze came by and blew her paper off of the building, it would probably fly into the road and get run over! How would she explain that to Ms. Danielle?!

"Hall 4, I think that's the one with the exit Nick always uses..." she said as she turned onto said hall.

Her eye was caught, however, on a dark room with something scurrying inside. It wasn't normal sized, like a punk student trying to cause some trouble, no... it was child sized! Alice check the door handle, unlocked, even more curious!

The blonde girl opened the door, and something dropped to the floor and shattered. as she flipped on the lights, she saw it was a rabbit! But... this rabbit had fingers, and was dressed, dressed nicely Alice had to say. He had apparantly dropped a try of tarts and the plate broke.

To Alice's logical brain, none of this made sense. Rabbits didn't have fingers, they didn't have fingers, and they most certainly did not eat tarts! Maybe it was a new breed? Maybe Alice could be famous for finding said new breed?!

The initial shock of being discovered seemed to wear off on the creature, as while Alice was getting over the shock of finding the rabbit, he scooped up the tarts into his pocket and dashed out the door and down to the exit. Alice, seeing her chances of fame getting away, sprinted after it.

Nicholas O'Shade was calmly reading a book on top of White Academy's smallest building. He coldn't concentrate on it though, he knew that he had gotten accepted into Uuba Academy... he didn't know how he was going to tell Alice. The two had been friends for 14 years, as soon as his parents had run into her adoptive ones at the mall and the two met as toddlers! He closed the book sadly, when he noticed the he was using Alice's paper folded up as a bookmark! He pulled it out and quickly unfolded it, trying to smooth out the creases in the paper.

"Wait! Wait stop Mr. Rabbit!" Alice's voice could be heard echoing throughout the impressive lawn. Nicholas quirked his head... "Mr. Rabbit?... the gym teacher?" he looked down, only to see Alice, chasing what he assumed to be a strange kid in a bunny suit. He shrugged it off and began climbing down to the astroturf grass.

Alice almost had it! All she had to do was get a little bit closer, and then she could pounce on it! Her long, blonde hair was getting in the way of her vision, and that was the death of the situation.

You see, The rabbit sped up when he saw his hole, and Alice, being slightly blinding by her golden locks, didn't see this. Alice pounced prematurely, and the rabbit dove into his hole, Alice rolling in after...

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Jack/ End


Author's Note: Needless to say, My work won't be anywhere as good as Mr. Lewis Carroll's, and I probably won't get 1/10000th the fan's he's made from his tales of Wonderland. But, I, being the writer, have still decided to go ahead and put this series up. This is how Alice's Adventures through Wonderland wouldv'e been like had I been in charge. I would like to dedicate this to my close friends on DA, my close friends in real life, and Lewis Carroll himself